I couldn’t help but wonder… was I hustling, or just being hustled?
I can tell you the exact moment I realised I had a boundaries problem.
I was on holiday - a proper, long-awaited, cocktail-in-hand, sunshine and beach holiday - and I found myself working. Not just checking in, but laying on a sun lounger hiding my phone inside a book so my partner wouldn’t see I was reading emails by the pool.
I told myself I’d just skim them - just check if anything was on fire (pro tip: unless you are literally a fireman, nothing is ever on fire) - but of course, I started replying. The worst part? I wasn’t even annoyed that people were emailing me. I was annoyed at myself for not getting to them sooner.
That was the moment it hit me: this wasn’t just a work problem. This was a me problem. Turns out that “going the extra mile” doesn’t get you ahead - it just means people keep moving the finish line.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, I need you to hear this: your workload isn’t always someone else’s fault.
Let’s be clear - companies should absolutely do better. But if you don’t set boundaries, no one will set them for you. We’re taught that being easygoing and always happy to help makes us good employees. In reality? It just makes us the first ones people offload onto. And so we end up in this cycle:
We say yes to more than we should.
Our workload increases because people assume we’re fine with it.
We get overwhelmed and resentful, but we don’t say anything.
We burn out, quit, or finally explode in frustration - and people act shocked.
Sound familiar?
And here’s the kicker: the person who never answers emails after 6pm? Somehow, they never get asked to. But the person who’s always available? Magically gets more shit dumped on them.
People will take as much as you’re willing to give.
This doesn’t mean you have to be rude, difficult, or stop being a team player. It just means recognising when you’re allowing work to creep into your life because you’re not pushing back.
If setting boundaries feels impossible, here’s a simple framework to help: The S.A.F.E. Boundary Setting Method.
S – Spot the problem
Take a step back. Where do you feel resentful? What tasks drain you the most? When do you feel like your time isn’t respected? That’s where your boundaries are leaking.
A – Assess what’s in your control
You can’t always control if your company is chaotic. But you can control:
How often you say yes when you mean ‘absolutely fucking not.’
How available you make yourself after hours.
Whether you flag when you’re drowning, or just quietly take it all on.
F – Frame your boundaries clearly
Your boundaries should be simple, direct, and don’t need a 10-paragraph excuse. Try these:
“I’m happy to help, but I can’t take this on right now.”
“I log off at 6pm, so I’ll pick this up first thing tomorrow.”
“I don’t have capacity for this, but I can support in [smaller way].”
(Not sure what to say? I’ve put together the Burnout Breakup Script Pack - a set of clear, effective scripts to help you say no, push back on unrealistic expectations, and take back your time without the guilt. Download it for free HERE)
E – Enforce (and expect pushback!)
Not everyone will love your boundaries - especially the people who benefited from you having none. Stick to them anyway. Quiet consistency is your best friend here.
At the end of the day, if your workload keeps creeping up, it’s worth asking - am I actually allowing this? Because setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult. It’s not about being unhelpful. It’s about deciding that your time, energy, and sanity are just as important as anyone else’s… it’s about self respect.
Your job is not a test of how much shit you can take before you break.
So if you’ve been waiting for permission to protect your time, here it is: you don’t need permission. You just need to start.
Cass x
